Congratulations on your new purchase! That was the easy part. Now it's time for the real fun. Assembly! Follow these simple steps to ensure your new bookcase is ready for its social media debut.
Step 1.
Rejoice the fact that there is even a manual included, saving you the trouble of trying to find the correct one online.
Step 2.
Immediately feel the joy ebb away when you read in step 2 that it's wisest to watch the video on how to do it first before trying it yourself. You can find a short clip on our website where a professional, who assembles these things on a daily basis for a living, makes it look like this won't be a day and a half long project.
Step 3.
Put on some background music or better yet, a movie or tv series so that you can become distracted by it when you arrive at step 17. This will be the point where you'll be in dire need of a break and consider extending it indefinitely.
Step 4.
Make a cup of tea. Trust us, you'll need it.
Step 5.
You're doing great so far! You've succesfully completed 4 of the 20 steps and prolonged the entire process. Delaying the start of this project is of the utmost importance, because let's be honest here, that unopened bag of screws, bolts and nuts is a nightmare to even look at.
Step 6.
Open the bag of nightmares and check the list at the bottom of this manual to make sure all materials are present. Please note that some of them will be missing or not properly manufactured so that assembly will become that much harder. Other items on the list you will simply not need at all.
Step 7.
Sip some tea and watch 15 minutes of the movie that's playing in the background or if you're listening to music, do a little dance to trick yourself into thinking you're having fun.
Step 8.
Once you've properly procrastinated please proceed with identifying all components of the bookcase and check them off the list (also at the bottom of this manual). You will find little stickers with letters on them to correspond to the order in which you will need to install them Some will not have stickers, so you'll just have to guess which component it is and where it goes.
Step 9.
Attach the wrong shelf to the wrong frame first. That way you can extend the joy of assembling your newly purchased bookcase by a whole half hour and feel the added bonus of having overcome obstacles if you do eventually manage to put this thing together.
Step 10.
Realise that the person who made it look so easy in that video you watched in step 2 might have been a professional and that editing was involved in making the video.
Step 11.
Let out a big sigh and consider giving up before bravely pressing on to attach the correct shelf to the correct frame this time.
Step 12.
Smile proudly once you have completed the previous step and celebrate your breakthrough with another cup of tea and another 15 (read: 45) minutes of the series or movie you were watching in the background.
Step 13.
Look at the clock and realise that if you keep procrastinating this task you'll still be at it 3 days from now.
Step 14.
Get up from your cosy spot on the sofa and read steps 1 to 14 again to see if you're on track and have completed them all. Which you have! Congratulations, you may now read on and begin step 15.
Step 15.
With a somewhat renewed sense of determination you attach more shelves to the frame. Here you can take a moment to feel some gentle excitement at the prospect of possibly completing assembly today.
Step 16.
Glance at the clock again and feel the urge to quit.
Step 17.
Time to add the drawers! Please note that the holes for the handles won't exactly line up properly, so you'll have to use brute force and a bit of rage to make them fit. Or you could at this point disassemble everything you've done so far, try to put all the components back in the box exactly as they were packaged, drag this insanely heavy parcel back to the post office and return it to us so we may send you a new bookcase which may have improved holes that do line up with the handles, or have the same problem as the previous one we got you. It's a bit of a gamble, which is why we advise customers to keep plucking away at it instead. But of course as the customer it is your choice. And customers are always right. About everything. So it seems.
Step 18.
I see you have chosen to just plough ahead. Good for you! Quite the die-hard you are. Well here's where you get to question your choices. Such as, why did you decide to assemble this bookcase on the hottest day of the week? And, why did you want to get this new bookcase again? Oh yes, now you remember. You saw it on Pinterest and you could envision yourself living your best life if only you could have a bookcase just like it.
Step 19.
Feel free to skip this step if you had the foresight to have the bookcase already lying on its side so that you would have easy access to the bottom of it when the time came to add the legs. If this is not the case now would be the time to flip this heavy thing on its side so you can have easy access to the bottom of it now that it's time to add the legs.
Step 20.
Simply screw the legs into the predrilled holes in the bottom shelf. Think to yourself how funny it would be if you were to discover that you used the bottom shelf as the top shelf and the whole bookcase is assembled upside down. Then with a racing heart and a slight panicked look on your face proceed to check 5 times that that isn't actually the case. Stand the bookcase upright and rejoice once more!
BONUS step.
If the legs are not level, place a folded up newspaper under the ones that are too short.
THE CHECKLIST
Items provided:
5 shelves marked 'A' (of which only 3 have the correct predrilled holes)
2 frames marked 'B'
4 legs marked 'F'
2 drawers marked 'C' (of which both have predrilled holes that aren't the worst, but not the best either)
2 handles for the drawers marked 'C2'
30495 screws (in all different shapes and sizes)
283 bolts (one size only)
238 nuts (in all sizes really, we're kind of hoping you have some nuts left over from previous assembly projects that will definitely fit for this one as well)
2 nails (we're not sure why these are in here, but just go with it)
1 rubber band
1 Allen wrench that doesn't fit
Items not provided, but still needed:
an Allen wrench that does fit
a screwdriver
a drill
a hammer
a cup of tea
a sofa on which to collapse when you reach step 17
a cheery disposition
an iron will
and probably that newspaper that you recycled yesterday
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