I got ready for bed last night with worry in my heart. When I went to close the curtains I noticed Evelyn wasn't there. Which to me confirmed a few things I had wondered about before. You can't convince me that it wasn't Evelyn's partner buried down there. She has been alone and she was indeed leaving the nest at nights to feed and drink. It must have been so tough for her. Not having anyone to relieve her of her duties during the day.
I saw a blue heron perched on the roof of the house opposite mine. I briefly wondered if herons eat other bird's eggs. This is where the worry kicked in. How long had she been gone? How long was she going to be gone? I peeked into the nest a little closer. It was getting darker by the minute, so it was hard to see properly. Or so I tried to convince myself. For I only saw the one egg. Where I previously had clearly detected two. She had lost one already. Or maybe I just wasn't seeing things right. Maybe the other one had slipped deeper into the nest and now lay concealed from my line of sight.
I peered into the distance of the slowly darkening sky. All I could spot were gulls and that heron. I felt anxious. She needed to come back soon. The nest was so vulnerable without her there.
Remembering my previous conclusion about humans not having any power in this process, I closed the curtains and went to bed. I'd wake up in the morning and she'd be sitting there like she always had.
I woke up earlier than usual. Which in hindsight felt lucky, otherwise I wouldn't have witnessed it. Evelyn was back. I heard her, before I saw her and somehow I knew that wasn't a good sign. She never made any noise in all the time she was brooding. As groggy as I felt after having the dream I had, recalling my fears of the previous night I flung the curtains open and saw her. Initially relief washed over me. However, I couldn't see the egg. Dread washed over me instead. Maybe.. maybe the egg had shifted and was now obstructed from view? I kept on fooling myself for a few moments as I watched Evelyn coo and pick at the nest.
When she stood upright, both her feet inside the nest I knew with undeniable certainty; the eggs were gone. There was no more pretending. A tinge of anger flitted through me. She had put in all this work and nothing had come of it? Disappointment also made an appearance as I understood that now I wouddn't get to observe the baby pigeons hatching or feeding. Which had felt like such a tremendous opportunity since I had never before been privy to such a thing.
I peered down into the grass. Had the egg plummeted to its doom? At that very moment I spotted a crow and a gull with something white in their beaks. Was it the remnants of egg shells? Had this tragedy only just happened? Or were my eyes tricking me and had the egg been stolen in the dead of night while I was asleep? I would never know the answers to these questions; neither would Evelyn.
I stayed with her until the final moment. She stopped picking at the nest and hopped onto a branch, turning her back on it and walking away. She looked a little lost to me. She turned around and for a moment my sentimental human mind thought she might walk back to the nest again, not willing to leave it. But what would have been the point in doing that? There was nothing in there for her anymore.
She looked around her as if she wasn't quite sure what to do now. I was right there with her. 'Now what?' I asked in my mind. The whole thing felt like such an anticlimax. And without sentimentality she launched herself off the branch and flew away. Leaving me behind to stare at that empty nest.
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